Ealy Morning Antics

Nope. This post isn't about doing Lis' hair or making up a dance routine at 8am. This post is about the morning that I almost called Meaghan to send Dave over but instead called Mark (and not the Hermit).

At about 12:30am on Saturday, I awoke to glass shattering. I looked out onto the street and saw nothing. After about 15 minutes of sparatic glass shattering, I had convinced myself that someone was breaking the windows on the first floor of my town house. What do you do when you think someone is breaking into your house? You call 911. And that is exactly what I did. The woman at Alexandria 911 asked me to state my emergency. I gave her my name and address (almost giving her my parents street address) and told her that I heard glass shattering and thought someone was breaking into my house. She said that the police had already been called and were on their way. Once I'm off the phone I realize that I'm still trapped in my room in a house that I believe is being broken in to. I call Wes thinking he is upstairs and will come down and save me. He doesn't answer so I leave a message where I tell him what is going on and break into tears. I believe Caroline Kennedy would cry in this situation as well. I proceed to call my other roommate. I dial the only Mark in my cell phone only to hear the lovely voice of Mark Charles answer. I want to die. At first I'm a bit stunned and can only say "Mark?" Mark confirms. "Yes, Kelly. What's wrong?" I sniff and respond "wait, Mark Charles?" Yes. I actually said that. Mark confirms and asks me again if I'm ok. My mind blanks and I totally lie to him and tell him I am fine. I told him that I was trying to get a hold of my roommate and accidentally called him. After I apologize for calling him at 12:45 in the morning I reassure him that I am fine. Mark tells me to call if I need anything and I thank him and get off the phone. Now I really want to die.

As I'm fully realizing what just happened Wes calls. He tells me that I shouldn't worry. That it's our fairly new neighbors next door and that they do this every weekend. He isn't at the house but he lets me know I should call him if I need help. Not 100% convinced, I find my pepper spray (thanks Dad) and listen at my door. I can't hear anything so I slowly open it and tip toe accross the hall to Mark's door. I knock a few times and there is no answer. I return to my room locking the door. I can see from my bedroom window that the cops have now arrived. The do not immediately rush to my house so this makes me feel better. They walk next door and then around back. I am now 99% convinced that my house is not being broken in to.

Again I gather my courage, pepper spray in hand, and head down stairs to find out what is happening at the back of the house. More cop cars are parked behind the house and I can kind of see them talking to what appears to be the next door neighbors. While downstairs, I check on my first floor to make sure there is in fact no broken windows. All the windows were in tact.

I return to my room wired. Really it's no change from the rest of the day, but it is 1am by this point. I decide to text Number 4. I know I may be risking interrupting precious Harry Potter time but I feel like she will understand, She was my next emergency call anyway. She has a lovely husband who I knew would swoop in to my rescue if asked. My text was a bit cryptic but I made sure to let her know I was ok incase she was unable to call. Being the lovely friend that she is, she gave me a call. I proceeded to tell her the long, embarrassing, scary story. She was very supportive and we had a good laugh over the whole thing.

After I got off the phone with Number 4 I went to go and talk to the cops hanging outside my house. As soon as I opened the door the told me everything was find in a condescending tone. No guns were pulled on me but the tone was unnecessary. I explained that I was one of the people that had called 911 and had thought that someone was breaking in to my house. I asked if it was really just the neighbors. The cops said they were unable to tell me who it was but there was someone in the neighborhood breaking beer bottles. I asked "are they still roaming the neighborhood?" They scoffed and said no, that there was a fight and it was being taken care of. I again returned to my bedroom and decided to post because I'm still too wired to sleep.

So here are the lessons I have learned from this mornings antics:
1. I am not as calm and collected in an emergency as I had thought I would be.
2. Always store all of your roommates phone numbers in your phone and label them well.
3. Have an emergency plan for what to do if someone is breaking in to your house.
4. If you are driving by my house in the near future, be careful of all the glass in front of and behind the house.

Fabulous Fanny Packs

Fanny packs have been in my life for quite some time. The Pam is quite the fan. She is a mom, so that is ok. Recent events have brought the fanny pack back into my life. As a tribute, I would like to post this lovely pic of myself at the Sugar Bowl. Please don't focus on my face. I look like someone should be holding my arms down so I don't hurt myself. Focus on the fanny pack. The matching fanny packs and all their glory.

The Long Wait

Before I left town for the weekend I needed to stop by CVS and pick up a prescription. The pharmacist told me it would take 20 minutes. An hour and a half later, I left CVS with my prescription. What took so long is the boring part of the story. In my hour in a half at CVS, I did a great deal of people watching. All of the condoms are placed directly in front of the pharmacy counter. It is hilarious to watch people try to be nonchalant about getting condoms. Really, there should be nothing to be embarrassed about. You are having sex. Good for you. You are being safe with your sex. Bonus points! The best thing about all these embarrassed people picking up their contraceptives is that they are in this special case. It's not really locked but as the directions state, you must push the button in front of the product you would like, open the tray and remove your item. If these steps are not followed in that specific order (which they rarely were) an announcement comes over the loud speaker. "Manager needed to assist customer in family planning." This announcement repeats until a manager resets the system. The added attention increased the squirming and was extremely amusing.

Security had to be called twice in my hour and a half of waiting. The first time was for a man who was screaming about customer service and his constitutional rights to share his opinion on CVS' customer service. The second time was about a half hour later. I heard the manager being paged to aisle 2. "Manager to aisle 2, manager to aisle 2." Directly followed by "security to aisle 2, security to aisle 2." Then the shouting started. The woman in aisle 2 screamed "oh no you didn't just call security on me." I was sitting at the end of aisle 10 and could hear her clear as day. The shouting continued and at one point I caught a glimpse of the manager with his hand on her shoulders trying to guide her out of the store. Of course, she was not happy with this. There was more shouting and she started throwing things. At one point the woman reentered the store. In the shuffle of trying to get her out again a baby was hit and the baby started wailing. To add to the mayhem, while all of this was going on the automated announcement kept repeating "Manager needed to assist customer in family planning." The manager was busy trying to remove the screaming, baby-hitting woman from the store and was unable to assist the guy in family planning. I think his face turned 8 shades of red. It was great and really helped me make it through my long wait. While CVS did take forever to fill my prescription, they did a great job entertaining me while I waited.

Workin' for the Weekend

I'm about to head out for the weekend. Big plans are ahead of me. Hon Fest, Family Summit, Sterling leaving. Big plans people. This evening we have a bit of fun in store. I'm heading to the mall to kill some time (like I'm 13) and then I'm off to meet my sister for a movie and maybe some CakeLove. We already agreed this morning that dinner would be movie theater popcorn. Bethany is coming along and does not agree with the plan. She has decided that she is going to pop in next door and bring in a taco with her to the movie. A TACO!!! Can you believe it? Have you ever heard of such a thing? I just don't know what to say. Feel free to discuss.

A Gosling We Will Go

Yesterday I made my way over to Dirksen Senate Building for a very special cause, celebrity stalking/ENOUGH campaign. Ryan Gosling and Ben Mackenzie are hot. I mean, there is a terrible crisis happening in Northern Uganda and I wanted to gather more information on what I could do to help. A horrific struggle has been going on for 20 years including displacement, murders (almost genocide), and child soldiers. The real travesty was that I didn't actually get to get close enough to speak to either of them. I had to duck out early for a date. It was a win/win situation really.
I was very interested in what all the speakers had to say. Some horrible things are going on in Uganda and, with some help, hopefully the issues can be resolved and the healing process can begin. It was a bit troubling/unconvincing how the speakers thought those in the audience should help. The wanted everyone to write letters to the White House and talk to their government officials and get them excited about that cause. It's lovely in theory but that really isn't the way to get things done. I agreed most with Melissa Fitzgerald. She said that you need to use the power of your own vote and vote for people who have the same views and passions as you. Vote these people into office so then they can vote for what you believe in. For a more detailed account on what was discussed and just another point of view, check out Bethany's take on it all.
So in summary. Ryan Gosling...

...hot.
Ben Mackenzie...

...hot but unclear as to why he was there.
A much better venture in celebrity stalking than at Thanksgiving.

Birthday Blog (almost)

As I walked towards my office door today I saw that it was closed and had the lovely addition of a big yellow bow. I opened my door to find a cheerful office covered in yellow and pink ribbon and streamers. There were sunflowers, gerbera daisies and cupcakes! It was great. The cupcakes were delicious. My girls are wonderful. I have a personal policy that no one should have to work on their birthday. My boss understands my policy and so I will be spending tomorrow poolside. It was an amazing pre-birthday celebration. Thanks ladies.

Goodbye Girls

Gilmore Girls was the origination of so many things for me. Watching TV over the phone with my sister, strangers mistaking my name "oh yes, like the show," and most and notably and importantly, Slutty Thursdays. I could go on forever about how I love the witty banter and pop culture references. Unfortunately the show could not do the same. As we were walking through the zoo, Sterling asked me how we are going to related every moment of our lives now that all our shows have been cancelled. First it was Friends, then Gilmore Girls, now we are left with nothing. It's like we will have to live our own lives. Who wants to do that? My latest theory is that nothing in life is truly real. Everything is something we saw on TV or just a figment of our imagination.